Hearts Open

This is something new I'm trying, so bear with me, and provide comments and criticism appropriately.

The pain of a broken heart can be one of the most debilitating feelings one can experience. In extreme cases, feelings of hopelessness and no belonging drive one to end a life. Violence against the self and against others cannot be an answer. So what, then?

Pain reminds one that life goes on. We tend to dwell on sadness, ever seeking happiness, rarely realizing how fleeting each of these feelings really are. Here one moment, gone the next. Pain, rising up the legs from a stubbed toe or from the heart/brain (as you will) during a loss of love, is a sensation that warrants consideration. Why is this happening? The answer may be obvious, unless it's an internal medical issue. What can I do about it? More often than not, there is no answer. Will this happen again? Perhaps, even probably in many cases. What good are these emotions? To answer that, I ask another question: would you really rather feel nothing?

Shakespeare said it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. A life without love is far more cruel than a life patterned with heartbreak. Good things can come from a broken heart, like the inspiration necessary for a creative endeavour. This is not say bad things cannot happen--they most certainly may. The simple action of placing one foot before the other is enough to prevent the worst possible outcomes. Remembering that the sun will rise and set, regardless of how you feel, for billions of years more may provide some relief. Time passes, sensations and emotions fade, memories linger (except maybe in cases of dementia and Alzheimer's). But even the sunshine of a spotless mind cannot be eternal.

So how does one fix a broken heart? Love.

It seems so simple, just announce to the universe that you seek love to mend your broken heart. What makes it so hard? Pride, fear, shame. These are false emotions conditioned into us by our society and culture. At the end of the day, who does it serve? One might think themselves a bother to others, beseeching affection with nothing to offer in return. Why am I worth their time, their energy, their worry? This serves nobody, not even one's ego. It comes from being told that nobody cares, that there isn't enough live in the world to be spared on relieving the suffering of something so trivial as a broken heart.

But there is enough love in the world. There is more than enough love in the world. Love defies physics, breaks all the rules that govern natural order. Love is a supernatural force capable of healing what medicine and even biology cannot. And it is our responsibility to share and spread our love throughout our lives. We never know who may benefit. Often it may seem we love in vain. That is okay. Love is unconditional, not transactional. You don't need love in return for the love you give. Fingers crossed, it will come naturally. The more love flows from the hearts of those around you, the more your heart can exude. So keep your heart open.

This is something I'm trying, and it's a bit different from what I'm used to. In the past, I kept my heart closed. Why give someone the chance to take advantage? Human nature is not truly benign; people cheat. The heart will surely break again. A closed heart keeps the pain inside, internalized, festering, rotting into feelings of loathing, worst of all loathing of my self. Hold onto the pain longer than I need to under the false assumption that it will stave off future discomfort. But all that happens is that life passes by. And I'm left with nothing.

An open heart might experience heartbreak, time and time again, but it does not keep the pain. Instead, it releases pain into the universe, where love soothes. I recall Esperanza Spalding: "love the promise of love, the knowledge of love, the soothing of love." Let go of the pain, knowing that it will come and go beyond my control. Now I quote Jim Morrison: "The future's uncertain and the end is always near." As I open my heart, life flows through me. Because as my heart exudes love into the universe, the universe flows love into me. Emptiness subsides as my heart fills. I am enough.

So as I continue growing and experiencing, I try to keep my heart open. I am not a saint or a martyr. I do not help others at my own expense. But if an opportunity arises where I am in a unique or special position to help someone, even trivially, I can't not take it. It's my duty as an energetic being to amplify the good vibrations of life with my own love. And so far, it's okay. Maybe someone will cheat me or break my heart, but so long as I am alive and willing, I will love.

I will keep my heart open. Life is too short to not love.